Go Within …

Christmas 2020 has come and gone. Today starts the first day of a provincial-wide lockdown. Only essential services will remain, and we are asked to stay home. For many, it won’t be easy. Caught between understanding why we need to comply and refusing to believe that it’s necessary to curb a line, many’s states of mind will begin to falter. I don’t blame them: I too don’t like restrictions or being told what to do, but it’s a fact that remains. We’re in physical lockdown for 14 days. This morning, I woke up early, partly because my body is accustomed … Continue reading Go Within …

On Saying Thank You to 2020

They’re here, marking their spaces on various social media platforms. The ‘Memes’ that read: Fk you 2020. Bye-bye 2020 – Worst year ever etc.  You know what I’m talking about. As more and more people embark on that ‘omg what a dumb year’ train, I’m choosing to pause for a few seconds to actually thank Dame Universe for allowing me to experience many things associated with 2020. Yep, I know I’ll read comments which will likely be negative, which will call me ‘fake’ and inform me that I am lucky, that the repercussions of this year have not been as severe … Continue reading On Saying Thank You to 2020

#Day20

Twenty days ago, I pressed ‘send’ on a new journey, and I began walking a very different path towards a different ‘ME’. I decided that it was time for a whole ‘reset’, and that it was time to begin steps towards ‘becoming’ different. You see, all of my life, since I have been 18 years old, I have struggled with various aspects of my existence. I know now that I have autism, but more than that, I know and realize now that I have been in ‘fight’ mode for the past 33 years. You see, I was severely bullied as … Continue reading #Day20

Conversation with Myself – About Christmas 2020 …

As I always do on Sunday mornings, I watered my plants when suddenly, I smelled my Mother’s familiar scent. A Mom has that scent – one that we can perceive even in the darkest of rooms. When we’re young, we snuggle up to it as we receive hugs. When we need that familiar touch when life gets tough, it’s there, waiting to greet us. And most recently (well, almost 10 months ago), it was that scent that greeted me when I visited her at the Au Château. It started out as a faint scent, and as I spoke to her … Continue reading Conversation with Myself – About Christmas 2020 …

Conversation with Myself #10

It’s December today. The frigid, cold wind blows upon my face, and it reflects exactly how I am feeling at this very moment. I feel frozen in time. This morning, I looked in the mirror, and of course, I didn’t recognize myself. I’ve aged lately – and the glow from my eyes seems to have faded. I’m facing a lot of uncertainty, as well all are – and it’s exhausting. People at work have been on fire, division amongst them as they battle their way through uncharted territories. I blame it on the masks – but the truth is – … Continue reading Conversation with Myself #10

Conversation with Myself

Conversation with myself #8 It’s going to be a tough week on many levels. The one human being who has taught me so much about life and non-verbal communication is moving away to another town and another school. She will be missed dearly as She brings so much love and energy to our learning circle. All who meet this young woman fall in love with Her – and yearn to know more about Her. She’s an enigma – one that conquers your heart when you least expect Her to do so. She has taught me how to be patient, to … Continue reading Conversation with Myself

Conversation with Myself

Conversation with myself #6 Well, dear Anne, I went to bed looping – a term I coined when I think too much. It happens when I spend too much time trying to figure out what some personal or professional outcomes may look like. In my mind, I orchestrate all sorts of scenarios and then, I spin out of control. I’ve heard myself screaming in my own mind: let it go … let it be … and yet, here I am. A 50 year old lady trying to figure things out, one who has trouble letting go and who, quite obviously, … Continue reading Conversation with Myself