On the Difficult Art of Walking Away …

I had the weirdest night. It was the one where you’re sleeping, but your mind and heart work a mile a minute. You wake up changed, or knowing, that you have TO change.

When I feel asleep, I was immediately transported to Dreamland, with one of my most trusted Guides. I entered a room with a giant screen. Two light beings were sitting at a long black table and pointed at it. It seemed like a movie of what my life had been, to date. I witnessed moments as far back as when I was a baby. Memories I had long forgotten. I took note of family members which had been important to my growth who had recently abandoned me by voicing mean statements about my current Life. I made the inventory of opportunities I had taken, others which I had abandoned out of necessity or circumstances. It was exhausting and yet, so revealing. I, the person who consults with people about making change in their life, was being shown that I needed to do the same: I need to take note. Acknowledge. Evaluate. Breathe and then let go, permanently, of some people and of the emotions attached to the moments attached to them.

I’m not going to lie to you: I woke up feeling very unstable and sick to my stomach. I’m still not well as I am writing this. My husband and I had a discussion about that very thing last night, and so I know that it’s probably my subconscient heart acting out its very finest scenario in order that I understand and proceed with the process of dropping off unwanted baggage. I recently read an article about ‘bleed-throughs’ – or people and situations that show up in your life with emotions attached to moments of past incarnations. When I take into account how much I am an intuitive being, what is occurring in the ‘now’ …. added to what is still lingering from before ? No wonder I’m often depleted and exhausted with Life.

So, inventory made and situations revisited, I now have a better insight and view of where I am going in the future, but only if I choose to release those moments or individuals which no longer serve my daily purpose. There are numerous ones. Life has been busy in offering me opportunities to grow . I, however, realize how much I hold many hostage within my own heart. It’s almost like I have boxed myself in a room full of crap. I have a choice. Stay in there and live out my Life surrounded and absorbing these negative energies or, face them and let go of what I no longer desire to keep with me. Pressing DELETE, and moving on. I choose the latter, should you be wondering.

In the next few weeks, many events and adventures will transpire. I will be travelling to Paris for my first solo European trip. I will be prepping for my new role as Ressource Teacher at my school’s Learning Assistance Center and I will officially be taking my place as a part-time faculty member at the local University. All these moments are bucket list events which I have accepted, and which I know are on my Life map. These make me smile. They excite me and invite me to dream and to think better. The people in my Life associated with these events make me smile and make my heart happy, and so, I will accept them fully within me as I make the journey in the unknown and uncharted details. I am safe here. I am happy and I am excited.

As for the lingering moments and events which hold me down: I am ready to let go. Starting today, I am bidding adieu to family members, once upon a time friends, colleagues and many other individuals who have marked my Life passage . It’s time to let go of many of the destructive energies which prevent me from growing and moving on. There is no more time, nor desire, to dwell on the past: things which occurred, were said or felt at that particular time. It’s time to move on – and it’s ok. I’m ready. My heart is screaming that it’s time to do so. My physical body is ready to release what no longer makes me feel good.

Easier said than done, right ? Agreed. I know what I have to do , and I know that it won’t be easy. It’s going to be a process, a long one at that, but I’m ready and I have a plan. Here it is:

  • I’ll take inventory of people and moments which mark me. I’ll divide them into columns: happy – angry – sad – disappointed – need to let go etc I’ll allow myself to travel through time to fill out this ‘chart’ – and that may take a few hours – or even a few weeks. That’s ok. Doing an in-dept inventory of moments is required if I choose to fully let go. It’s MY list. MY life. MY time …
  • When the list is complete, I will address each moment or person as a separate entity. I will witness the positive moments in each, and then I will let go . I may do this by thinking intention, or by writing about it. If I write, I will keep my words to myself. I will remember that words and thoughts have power – and therefore – as I release to the Universe – I will ask for help and wish light upon what is being released. I will work with intention, with precision, with Light and with the intention of healing my heart and proceeding to a higher purpose.
  • As I release, I will then proceed on replacing with something beautiful. I don’t know quite what that will look like yet, but I do know that when I do, I will be able to say that it makes my heart smile.

It is said that Life happens while you’re planning something else. Today, thanks to what I saw in my dreams, I hope to change that. What if for a few moments, I focus on what DID happen – and then I can start planning ? That’s the idea – at least – at this very moment.

Revisit. Review. Release. Reprogram. Repeat.

I’m walking away and I’m letting go. ( and that’s okay ).

Have a beautiful day.

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